asher63 (asher63) wrote,

The Do-It-Yourself Seder


One bottle of Manischewitz cough syrup Concord Grape.

One box of Matzos.

One bunch of celery.

One jar of horseradish sauce. ***VERY*** important. The nice gal at Whole Foods found it for me, and it's not the pallid Manischewitz crap. This is Bubbie's, which is THE GOOD SH*T! Yummmm.

One Apple Pie Lärabar. Read the ingredients: it's acutally haroset!

Orange, plate, candles, bowl of salt water, place settings, haggadah, and other accessories as needed.

Begin reading Haggadah in Hebrew. Read the hard parts in English. Skip the boring parts altogether. But by all means, read with F!E!E!L!I!N!G!.

Follow all instructions, standing, sitting, reclining, washing, dabbling, drinking, sandwiching, and (at long last) eating as directed.

Dessert: matzoh. (Cheat just a little: add horseradish. Yum.)
Tags: hebraica

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